Biscuits with the Boss

Four official ingredients and one real Whitman quote

Ted Lasso’s biscuits have an official recipe. Apple released it. It’s a simple, classic shortbread. Butter, sugar, flour, salt. Vanilla if you’re feeling fancy.

That’s it. Four ingredients.

So if someone offers a different recipe and calls it THE recipe, they’re not being truthful with you. They might not be lying, exactly. They might just be repeating something that felt true. But felt-true and is-true are different things, and knowing the difference is most of the work of being a citizen right now.

Ted’s incorrect quote, and the one Walt Whitman got right

In the show, Ted drops a line he attributes to Walt Whitman: “Be curious, not judgmental.” It’s great advice. It’s also not Whitman. Scholars at the Walt Whitman Archive have confirmed he never said it or wrote it. The earliest known appearance of the phrase is a 1986 newspaper advice column. Somewhere along the way, somebody stapled Whitman’s name to it, painted it on a wall, and a fake quote became famous because it felt true and nobody checked.

Nothing travels faster than words you want to believe.

Whitman did offer the following, however, in Song of Myself:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)”

I can’t think of a better description of this country. America has always contradicted itself. We preached liberty while practicing slavery. We spend more on lottery tickets than we do on books. And it shows.

The test of a democracy isn’t whether we agree. Three hundred and forty million people were never going to agree. The test is whether we’re large enough, in our actions, to contain our multitudes and our contradictions.

Notice the difference between the two quotes. The fake one gives us a vibe. The real one asks us to do the work. That’s usually how you can tell.

Or, as Sharon McMahon puts it, “We have to know things to do things.”

Why the biscuits mattered

It’s curious that Ted would be a biscuit maker, however I believe those buscuits mattered most because he showed up with them every single morning. In a little pink box, handed over in person, to a boss who was actively working against him. He wanted her to know she mattered and deserved care, regardless of status, regardless of what she achieved, regardless of whether she’d earned it yet.

Wins and losses come and go. Who we are remains.

That’s what I want my boys to take from this show, and it’s what I’d offer you. Belief isn’t a speech. It’s a box you hand somebody, daily. And a country works the same way. Democracy is not a feeling you have in November. It’s a practice. So vote, organize, mobilize, and give yourself to your causes. Believe in yourself.

America’s multitudes need you.

Now let’s bake.

Ted Lasso’s Biscuits (official recipe)

Yield: One square pan, about 16 biscuits. Time: 15 minutes of work, 30 minutes of patience, 45 to 60 minutes in the oven.

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour

• 1/4 teaspoon coarse salt

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

• 3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar

• Optional: a splash of vanilla, if you’re feeling fancy

Preparation

1. Preheat the oven to 300°F. Yes, that low. Shortbread doesn’t get rushed. Neither does anything real.

2. Sift the flour and salt together into a bowl and set aside.

3. Beat the butter on high speed until fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes. Don’t shortcut this step; it’s where the texture comes from.

4. Gradually add the sugar and keep mixing until the whole thing is pale and fluffy.

5. Add the flour all at once and mix just until combined.

6. Butter a square pan. Pat and roll the shortbread into it, no more than 1/2-inch thick.

7. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. The dough has to chill out for a while. Let it.

8. Cut into squares before baking.

9. Bake until golden with a firm middle, about 45 to 60 minutes depending on your oven.

10. Cool completely. Re-slice if needed.

The most important step

Put them in a box. Give them to somebody.

A coworker, a neighbor, the kid at the bus stop, someone you disagreed with last week. It doesn’t have to be pink, but it doesn’t hurt. The biscuits were never the point. The showing up was.

If you make them, tell me in the comments who got the box.

Be kind, feed your mind, and... barbecue sauce.

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The Dad Briefs covers the civic, political, and quietly human stories that shape family life in America — with recipes along the way.